Monday Morning Church
by Seylin
Summary: Tala’s story of lost love, faith and self… Shounenai, TalaxKai. Possible language.


Title: Monday Morning Church  
Author: Seylin  
Summary: Tala's story of lost love, faith and self…  
Rating: PG-13  
Warnings: Shounen-ai, TalaxKai. Possible language.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade or the lyrics to "Monday Morning Church". Nor do I own the Bible; the verse used is John 11:25-26.

Monday Morning Church

Tala buttoned up his shirt as he prepared to leave the… no his room. The person that had made this bedroom and the rest of the house their home was gone now, therefore it wasn't their's… just his. His eyes landed on Kai's dresser; the forgotten wallet, a picture of them together smiling… the Bible.

Many didn't know it but Kai was one of the most religious people anyone could ever meet. Church every Sunday, always reading his Bible, playing hymns on the piano… tears gathered in his eyes as he remembered. The leather of the Bible was cool under his fingers, the golden cross on the front glinted lightly in the dim light. Tala stared at the Bible before he growled softly and placed the Bible in the drawer.

Leaving the room he went downstairs to the living room, Kai's piano sitting in the warm sunlight coming through the windows. Tala stood and watched the dust particles fall in the sunlight for a few minutes, before they finally landed on the piano and other places. He walked over to stare down at the untouched keys, the dust was about an inch thick on them but he refused to let the maids clean them yet. The bench however was clean for he sat there often just staring at the keys that Kai would sit and play for hours.

Sitting there staring he could almost hear the hymns Kai would play. For hours Kai would play and now for hours he would sit and stare. He knew he should let the maids clean the piano… it had been almost a year since that day. He should have closed the lid but each time he started to reach out tears would stream down his face and he just couldn't.

**You left your Bible on the dresser  
So I put it in the drawer  
'Cause I can't seem to talk to God without yelling anymore  
And when I sit at your piano  
I can almost hear those hymns  
The keys are just collecting dust  
But I can't close the lid**

Getting up he absently wandered around the house, embracing the cold chills that ran through his body when he looked at things that remind him strongly of Kai. There had been days when sunlight filled those rooms, sharing space with their laughter and smiles. The sunlight only took second place to the love they shared for one another.

"Things are only getting worse…"

That voice sent the ultimate chill down his spine. He didn't know just who's voice it was but he placed the temptation on the devil. Those words had been whispered since the moment the police had shown up at the door. They were chilling but also just as empty… so empty.

**You left my heart as empty  
As a Monday morning church  
It used to be so full of faith and now it only hurts  
And I can heart the devil whisper  
"Things are only getting worse"  
You left my heart as empty  
As a Monday morning church**

Tala listened to the knocking on the front door from his chair in the living room. He knew who it was, the preacher of the church he and Kai had always attended. He was surprised the man had kept coming after a year.

"Mr. Ivanov, I missed you at the service. I know it has been a tough year for you but you must remember that Jesus loves you." Those were the same words he said every Sunday when he came by.

Tala wasn't sure he really believed him; in the year since Kai's death he had cursed God. He refused to believe in all the faith that Kai had taught him. If God was so good and merciful then why had he taken Kai?

"I lost my faith the moment your casket was lowered into the ground Kai… would you still love me knowing that?"

**The preacher came by Sunday  
Said he missed me at the service  
He told me Jesus loves me  
But I'm not sure I deserve it  
'Cause the faithful man that you loved  
Is nowhere to be found  
Since they took all that he believed  
And laid it in the ground**

Tala stared at the wall of pictures that he had taken of Kai and one's of them that had been taken professionally. They were always smiling because they had something to be happy about… now he had lost that something. He had lost it all because of a damn drunk driver.

Growling Tala reached forward and pulled the first picture down. It crashed to the ground, the glass shattering. The others soon followed creating a cascade of falling frames and shattered glass. The pictures that had been in the frames lay under the glass. Slowly bending down Tala picked up one of him and Kai.

That smile…

**You left my heart as empty  
As a Monday morning church  
It used to be so full of faith and now it only hurts  
And I can heart the devil whisper  
"Things are only getting worse"  
You left my heart as empty  
As a Monday morning church**

There were some things that he could never forget… something had to be out there, it just had too… Kai had made it to Heaven; there was no doubt in his mind about that. But before Kai he had been faithless, hell after everything they had gone though at the Abbey who wouldn't be? But then there had been Kai, he was there, sharing his love and his faith. Without that support...

"What prayer do I have?" Tala thought. His heart started pounding and he got to his feet. He looked around for a moment before running out the door, not caring that he left it open, or that the dark and heavy clouds in the sky promised a hell of a storm.

**I still believe in Heaven  
And I'm sure you've made it there  
But as for me without your love  
I don't have a prayer**

Tala fell to his knees next to the grave, tears streaming down his cheeks. He made fists in the grass before raising those fists to his temples, not caring about the grass that stuck to his skin. He threw his head back and screamed. When his voice gave out his head fell forward and he sobbed.

"Why Kai? Why?!" He demanded pounding his fist against the cold ground. Tears clouding his eyes he saw that scene play itself out as it had so many times before.

_'Kai stay with me today,' he had begged softly reaching out to touch Kai's hair. Kai turned and gave him that smile that he loved so much. _

_'We've been in the house for almost three days! Really just our bedroom for three days, I need to get out for just a couple of hours,' Kai replied. _

_'You are out; you left the bedroom and came downstairs now come back with me.' Kai just laughed softly and leaned in to kiss him. _

_'Soon my love.' _

_He had watched Kai walk towards the car, his heart thudding with some feeling with each step. Kai had given him that smile and a wave before he drove off. _

Tala stretched out on the ground beside the grave, the grass had grown in the past year… the flowers that had decorated the grave had died and been removed but one fact remained the same. The name on the tombstone did not change. It still read Kai Alexander Hiwatari.

Thunder clapped, the sky opened up and an icy rain fell down.

**You left my heart as empty  
As a Monday morning church  
It used to be so full of faith and now it only hurts  
And I can heart the devil whisper  
"Things are only getting worse"  
You left my heart as empty  
As a Monday morning church**

Tala walked into the bedroom, his fingers undoing the buttons of his shirt. His eyes landed on Kai's dresser; the forgotten wallet, a picture of them together and smiling… the Bible. Tala slowly walked over to the dresser wondering why it was on top of the dresser when he had put it in the drawer that morning.

The leather was cool under his fingers, the golden cross on the front glinted lightly in the dim light. Tala thumbed through the pages with golden edges, he paused on one page, reading over a marked passage.

"Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"

Closing the Bible he opened the top drawer to Kai's dresser and placed it inside. Slowly he pushed the drawer closed and then turned away.

**You left your Bible on the dresser  
So I put it in the drawer**


End file.
